Ted the Toddler

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Ted was round, chubby, and only two-years old. My heart sank when I saw the little blond cherub, barely toddling, first rolling about on the floor and next clutching at his parents pant-legs. They left him with me. His fat little legs barely made it over the edge of the bench. He looked at me with the baleful stare of an abandoned piglet, and then he wailed out getting louder and louder, "I want my mommy!!!! I want my daddy!!!!" (Breathe in for final intake of air), "and I want to learn the FRENCH HORN!!!" (Note: He would have been crushed by the weight of a French Horn or fallen inside it he was so small). The lesson lasted about 3 minutes before his parents, who were hovering behind the door came in and retrieved him. I told them as delicately as possible that their son wasn't ready for lessons yet. If, however, they wished to "expose" him to music, they could play a lot of classical recordings and let him bang on the keyboard at home for the next few years. I was relieved to see them drive away.

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