Along the Merry Way....

Ben and I are jamming on our cousin Rebekah's piano. We love to jam with blues, jazz, and anything else. (Thank you to Pete Baklinski for the "Oh When the Saints" blues version).

Recently Jay-Jay and Tabitha's father bought them a new piano. The children were very excited. When they went to pick it up, the house they bought it from had a suspiciously foul smell hanging in the air. However, they quickly forked over several hundred dollars and then carted the instrument out. After a great deal of expense and effort, they installed it in their living room. Unfortunately, the curious odour, which they thought they had left behind them, appeared to be radiating in strong waves from the piano. Jay-Jay and Tabitha rallied and attacked the piano with a bottle of febreeze, but to no avail. The smell became so pungent after a while that the children refused to practice. Then they refused to go near the instrument or the living-room any more. I suggested that perhaps there was a dead animal inside, and Jay-Jay said, “Well I'm sure not looking.” I asked Tabitha what exactly the smell was like. Her face paled, and she replied in a whisper, “Like nothing I've eve...

Jay-Jay and Tabitha: Two little black kids who are super excited and positive about everything (Cool stickers! Cool piano bench! Cool song! etc, etc). Jay-jay snaps his fingers and busts out dance moves on the bench. He could have come straight from New Orleans. Jay-Jay tells me he hasn't been able to practice piano recently because their keyboard broke down, but not to worry--he learns songs in his dreams. Amazing skill!

Stefan never ceases to amaze me with the sheer unbelieveability of his tales. This time he asked me if I knew that "A beaver once saved the life of the queen of England." Apparently she was in the royal family's private zoo, and a young beaver dove in front of an assasin's bullet and saved her life. I don't know where he comes up with these or has the nerve to tell me them with such earnestness.

Todd the Terrible (8 years old) told me that he's been thinking about joining the army. He also said, "I used to want to lose both my legs because I think wheelchairs are cool. But now I think only one leg would be good. Gertrude the Gullible: She likes trills, but she can never get the name right and always calls them "frills." I told her to avoid the "endless trill" because the man who invented it is still playing. I also told her not to press the middle pedal otherwise the piano would explode, and the anonymous Minuet she was playing was actually written by Bob. I always separate truth from fiction afterwards. Stefan: Once again, his homework was not done because "he nearly stopped breathing that week." He had had a terrific fall into some ice on his stomach that caused him great pain. Luckily, he didn't have to go to the hospital.

Ted was round, chubby, and only two-years old. My heart sank when I saw the little blond cherub, barely toddling, first rolling about on the floor and next clutching at his parents pant-legs. They left him with me. His fat little legs barely made it over the edge of the bench. He looked at me with the baleful stare of an abandoned piglet, and then he wailed out getting louder and louder, "I want my mommy!!!! I want my daddy!!!!" (Breathe in for final intake of air), "and I want to learn the FRENCH HORN!!!" (Note: He would have been crushed by the weight of a French Horn or fallen inside it he was so small). The lesson lasted about 3 minutes before his parents, who were hovering behind the door came in and retrieved him. I told them as delicately as possible that their son wasn't ready for lessons yet. If, however, they wished to "expose" him to music, they could play a lot of classical recordings and let him bang on the keyboard at home for the next fe...

Today, I decided to do something constructive. There is a certain reckless insanity that comes over a person after a very painful experience, so I decided to make the most of it and do something perhaps a little crazy. I made lots of Valentine's Day cards and gave them out to all the saddest looking people on Rideau street and in the mall downtown. It was fun! There was an old, depressed-looking hunchback (how much more pathetic does it get than that?) who shuffled by me, and I hid one in his bag when he wasn't looking. I gave another to a very fat lady who looked at me suspiciously, then realizing what it was, burst out laughing and yelled out her thanks. There was a skinny girl who looked like a bean-pole (correction: she looked more like an upright knitting needle—even a tape-worm would have abandoned her), who was crying her eyes out, and I gave her one too. I can't remember all of them, but I gave a couple out in a coffee shop, a number to people sitting alone in the m...

1. Minnie Mouse: Minnie has a very high sqeaky voice and asks countless questions. Much of what she says goes up in tone at the end, so even her statements sound like questions. She is also very easily distracted by any bright shiny objects in the room. Minnie: "So I practiced a lot this week? It was fun. Can I learn a new song? I picked this one?" She is a little beginner, but she came with several recordings of songs that she wanted to learn. They were advanced classical pieces by Liszt, Beethoven, and Mozart, some of which took me months to learn at the height of my music life. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeasqueak?" she pleaded, "Pleeeeeease can I learn it? I want to learn one by next Thursday? There's a school concert, and I want to be really good." Me (not wanting to crush her spirit): "Well, Minnie, you'll definitely play these songs at some point, but I think you need to learn some other ones first as a bridge in between." Minnie (determined): ...